if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
