I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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