So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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