Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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