This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
