I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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