Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
