So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
