we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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