Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
