you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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