last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
