U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's like iHOP with fire
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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