Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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