I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
