Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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