don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
