Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you had me at cake vodka
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
