Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
