so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
