Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
