She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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