I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
so much tequila, so little girl.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
