I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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