would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
