She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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