I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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