some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
