member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
