She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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