Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
