If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
