i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I supernannyed him into submission
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
