yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
