I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
