After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
that may or may not have been my penis.
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