try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
