We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
