I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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