I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Randomize
