I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
