i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
