He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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