So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
