i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
