Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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