I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
