i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
