Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
