I am puke
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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