dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Life is so much better after having sex.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
